Look up the word "love" in the dictionary and you'll notice how many different nuances and meanings are given.

My 50-pounder Webster's Third New International Dictionary from 1961 actually uses Bible verses for one two-part definition among 16 definitions.

Part A reads, "To cherish or foster with divine love and mercy <I have loved you with an everlasting love—Jer. 31:3 (RSV)>

Part B says, "To feel reverent adoration for (God) <but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments—Exod. 20:6 (RSV)>

Agape, phileo and eros (from which "erotic" stems) are the three Greek words for love.

Agape love is said to be the divine, supreme, selfless, intense, intimate love of God.

It’s a deep selfless love, whereas phileo is more of a fond and friendly casual kind of love. Phileo actually means "brotherly love" and is the root for Philadelphia ("City of Brotherly Love" in Greek) and the word "philanthropy."

"Agape is that special kind of mental-attitude love; it's not emotional love," explains my pastor, Richard Jordan (Shorewood Bible Church, Rolling Meadows, Ill.). "It's not a warm, personal feeling. It's not 'luv,' the l-u-v of the world's. It's not the love of Harlequin Romance novels. It's not the love of the religious system where everybody pats each other on the back. It's not a back-slapping, handshaking, grinning, Madison Avenue kind of love. It's a mental attitude ability of valuing and esteeming things the way God does."

In the New Testament, phileo and agape are used interchangeably. For example, consider this famous exchange in John 21: 14-17 between Jesus Christ, in His post-resurrection supernatural appearance at the Sea of Galilee, and disciple Peter:

"This is now the third time that Jesus shewed himself to his disciples, after that he was risen from the dead.
"So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.
"He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
"He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep."

When Peter answers, "Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee," he's using the lesser meaning of phileo. The idea is that in the first two times Christ asks, "Peter, do you love me?", He's really saying, "Do you agape me?" and Peter answers, "Yeah, Lord, you know I phileo you."

The third time Christ says, “Peter, phileo thou me?" and Peter answers, “Lord, you know I phileo you.”

Peter was unwilling to commit himself to a deeper relationship with Christ and yet he's grieved when Jesus chooses the lesser term of phileo in His third posing of the same question.

It's like he was thinking, "Oh, great, now Jesus is willing to dumb down my commitment to my level."

But when does the Lord ever dumb down His call for the Believer?

As Jordan explains in a study I have on this subject, "If the Lord starts up here with agape, and it's a higher word, and phileo is a lower word, and Peter stays down there, do you think the Lord would then just say, 'Oh, well, I’ll just go on down to your level'? No, not if He’s calling Peter up to His higher level."

Christ is challenging Peter to love Him in relationship to the leadership position He's given him.

Here are some other interesting examples Jordan gives for the use of the two loves in New Testament verses. Just remember agape means deep, intimate selfless love and phileo means casual, friendly love.

Luke 7:42 (agape): "And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?"

Matt. 10:37 (phileo): "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

John 5:42 (agape): "But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you."

Rev. 3:9 (agape): "Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee."

Rev. 3:19 (phileo): "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent."

John 12:25 (phileo): "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal."

Luke 11:43 (agape): "Woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye love the uppermost seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets."

II Tim. 3:4 (phileo): "Traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God."

John 20:2 (phileo): "Then she (Mary Magdalene) runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him."

I Cor. 16:22 (phileo): "If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maran-atha."

Rom. 5:8 (agape): "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

I Cor. 16:24 (agape): "My love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen."