Moses is one of great men of faith who suffered with depression. My pastor, Richard Jordan, tells it like this:

“Moses, when judged by his personal achievements and the impact he made on humanity as a whole, stands as probably the greatest leader in all of human history.

“Not only did he lead 3 million or so Jews out of Egypt, and continue to lead them for 30 years in the wilderness, he also served as the vehicle—the one through whom God would give the Law, which is the highest level of code and a standard of ethics that’s ever been produced.

“Someone said you could take the 10 Commandments and do away with about 85 percent of all the laws we have; the laws people have to try and micro-manage their efforts on others.

“Moses is the guy Jesus quotes in Mark 1 when the leper’s healed and He says to him, ‘Go and do the things Moses commanded.’ Literally in the Bible Moses stands as, not only the great lawgiver to Israel, but God’s spokesman for the nation all through what we call the Old Testament period. He’s peerless as a leader.

“And yet, Moses, this great man of God, offers up what is probably the poorest example of a prayer to be found in all of the Bible. It’s probably the dumbest prayer you’ll ever read; the most inappropriate you’ll ever hear. It’s a prayer that begins in anger and progresses into self-pity to the place where he’s just absolutely in the throes of despond.

“As Numbers 11 tells it, ‘Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the LORD was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased.
[11] And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me?
[12] Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers?
[13] Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat.
[14] I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.
[15] And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.’

“What’s happened there is when the ‘mixed multitude’ fell a lusting out in the wilderness, they got into a condition of emotional revolt from thinking improperly—focusing on their old life (in Egypt) and where they’d been, rather than focusing in faith and fixating their mind on where God was going to take them.

“And, so, as a result of the people getting into this complaining, groaning, moaning down-in-the dumps manner, Moses gets that way himself. He cries to God, ‘Wherefore hast thou afflicted they servant?’ It’s, ‘Why?!’ You know the first thing people ask in depression is, ‘Why?’

“You never need to ask your child, ‘Why did you do that?’ when they misbehave. You know why they did it—they’re kin to you! You know why they mess up, so the question you really want to ask is, ‘What?’ The question that gets a good answer to resolve a problem is, ‘What and how?’ not, ‘Why?’

“Moses begins with that bad thinking process. Why? He’s got some unrealistic expectations and misplaced dependencies. You’re gonna see it here. When you come in with this type of bad thinking, you expect people to do for you what they can’t do. You expect circumstances to be for you what they can’t be. And you don’t want to live in the real world and deal with reality. You’ve got these false expectations and so you say, ‘Why, Lord?! Why did you let this happen to me?!’

“Go down through this passage in (Numbers 11) and circle all the ‘I’s’ and the ‘Me’s’. Moses gets real self-centered through here. ‘Have I conceived this people? Have I begotten them? Have I carried them in thy bosom?’

“The attitude is, ‘You want me to do all this all on my own?! I got to do it? Lord, what are you doing to me?!’

“Now, what is that? That’s self-pity! There’s never been a depression that comes into your life that doesn’t have self-pity as a key element to it.

“In verse 13, Moses complains, ‘Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat.’ Where did he get flesh from already? Where did he get the water from the rock? Who gave that? God did.

“So, what’s he doing? He’s forgetting about the provisions God’s given him and he’s just centered on himself, focusing on what he’s doing. You know what that is? That’s depending on your ability and your strength rather than the provisions God’s given for you.

“I mean, Moses knew very well what was going on in; he understood why they were doing what they were doing. He’s the one who wrote all that down!

“He could have thought scripturally about why he was in the predicament, but he didn’t. He had unrealistic expectations and misplaced dependencies. He’s thinking he has to do it all himself.

“So, it’s not odd that you find him in verse 14 saying, ‘I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.’

“He’s saying, ‘Kill me!’ Now, there’s not anybody else in the Bible who got quite that low until you get to Romans 7 and 8 and see Paul say, ‘O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?’

“There’s another man in depression—alone, abandoned, isolated in despair. God’s against him, everything’s opposing him. He’s in the slew of self-pity.

“Instead of Moses looking at his situation and dealing with it on the basis of reality, he had all these false, unreal expectations: ‘Boy, you know, I’m gonna be this leader and these people are going to come along here. . .’

“It’s misplaced dependencies because he looks at it like, ‘I have to do it. It’s my strength.’ Why, God had promised that he’d go with Moses; He’d already provided for the (Israelites). He’s the one who gave the manna. He’s the one who gave the quail. He’s the one who gave the water out of the rock when there was none. God had already done all that but Moses wasn’t seeing that!

“Now, Christians usually don’t say, ‘Kill me!’ They say, ‘I wish the Lord would come today.’ That’s the ‘Christianese’ for, ‘Get me out of here! Stop the world, I want to get off!’ Sometimes you do wind up with that kind of an extreme and Moses got down to there.”